Tuesday, April 6, 2010

tuesday musings

Good Morning! I should be cutting my finger nails prior to heading to work this morning but I elected to blog instead. So now my blog trumps my hygiene.  Great. Charles here: Mrs. Elsea has, against her better judgment, allowed me to interject in the middle of her own blog post. Put simply, she wrote this post, and now, after the fact, I'm adding my two, four, or twenty-six billion cents of wisdom (read: making fun of what she wrote). 

I wanted C to post about the game yesterday but he couldn't get his words all lined up so he didn't (translation: my hygiene still ranks a few spots ahead of everythingelsea.blogspot.com).  I'll try to give you a quick recap this morning.

This post will sorta be like a "stream of consciousness post" (good - business as usual at the Elsea house...).  The consciousness part really just means "I'm conscious and that's about it, hence the babbling." (yup)  Let's get started shall we?

Yesterday was great.  Baseball is back!  Despite having to go to Cincinnati for the game (I have a rational hatred towards the city, C calls it irrational) it was nice to see the Cards pretty much dominate the day, while my men were allowing the best defensive play of the year.  We saw 3 home runs (one of which was a grand slam) and a pretty nice catch by Mr. Center Fielder.

Or, put another way...thank you sweet jesus baseball is back! Like apple pie, Mother's Day, and Joel Osteen's teeth, America is just a little less bright without  it (also contributing: winter). I for one was just glad that those men were back in uniform playing that silly game in front me; as gravy on top were the beautiful weather, the excellent company (I complain, but I like Mrs. Elsea a lot), aaaaannnnnddddddd........

Other notes from yesterday: I saw two (other) Indians jerseys. Ha! Just kidding...you thought I wasn't going to finish, didn't you? Weather, company, and Albert Pujols all managed to make the day extra special. In case you haven't heard of him, Albert Pujols (technical name: Alberton Pujolitor, Model 3.22j) is a robot originally constructed by the Skunk Works for the Defense Department as an advanced-bioweapons system whose sole purpose was to protect forward-based infantry units from short- and mid-range shelling. The idea was to equip Pujolitor with a heavily-armored sledgehammer-like device, which, in conjunction with his sophisticated sensory and radar systems, hypersensitive peripheral appendages' reaction time, and real-time functional logrithmic analytical systems that could instantly predict the incoming trajectory of any object at any speed down to thousandths of millimeters, would be used to bat away hostile fire. Needless to say, Pujolitor, from Models 1.0 to 3.22i, was so accurate and so powerful, that the single time he was used in real combat, the concussion wave caused by the impact caused an island to become displaced from time (note: various theories regarding that incident have been put forward, but none as compelling as the Alberton Collision). To make a long story short, Pujolitor was decommissioned by the U.S. Army and subsequently purchased by the St. Louis Cardinals, who now use him as their first baseman. He hit two home runs. One was very, very long. 

 It took Mr. Dippin' Dots way to long to get to my section.  There is no cell service in Great American ball park (true story: Rachel and I got separated for 30 minutes, the whole time being within 100 feet of each other, both with iPhones, and neither unable to communicate with the other).  There were some scoreboard malfunctions (literally missing someone in the lineup, no count displayed, etc). I got a nice little sun burn that should turn into a very fashionable farmers tan.  It bothers me greatly that Cincinnati couldn't finish their stadium and left a gaping hole in the upper deck seats. "And I don't mind saying it every time we go to a Reds game! As loud as I can, I announce my disapproval of this stadium and, well, pretty much all of Cincinnati, which should know that it is all so stinky and stupid that all Cincinnatas should just give up and move!" **Charles buries his head in his hands....**

Our seats were pretty good. C spares no expense when his boys are in town. Damn straight. 

I saw this sign yesterday.  It took me 10 minutes and a call to my mom to realize it was not misspelled after all...

We also made a stop at the outlet malls on the way home.  I found a khaki suit.  The pants are super long. And super expen....never mind. They're super long. 

I've only allotted 15 minutes for blogging this am so I must be going.  Please do not laugh at what little I was able to write in 15 minutes. In all seriousness, I love the blog. I read it at least three times a day, even though I know it hasn't been updated. 

I'm going to have Easter candy for breakfast.

I'm off to walk to work in this glorious weather.  Oh, and my aunt and uncle are coming today!  I'm very excited to see them!

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